Writing hero copy that converts

The hero section is the top of your page — the part visible before anyone scrolls. Content at the top of a page gets more attention than anything further down, and visitors decide within the first few seconds whether to stay or leave, so your hero does a lot of the work. Many hero sections fall short because they talk about the business instead of the visitor.

The five-part hero formula

A strong hero section answers five things, in roughly this order:

Before and after: headline rewrites

The fastest way to understand good hero copy is to see weak vs strong side by side.

Notice the pattern: strong headlines are specific, focus on the visitor's outcome, and feel like they were written for one kind of person.

The subheadline's job

Your main headline can be punchy and short. The subheadline (the smaller text directly below) expands the idea in 1–2 sentences. It should:

• Clarify what you specifically do
• Add a detail the headline left out
• Reinforce who this is for

Example:

Headline: "Turn your website into your best salesperson"

Subheadline: "We design conversion-focused websites for professional service firms in the UK — from strategy through to launch and beyond."

The "you" test

Read your hero copy out loud. Count how many times you use "we," "our," or your company name — versus "you" and "your."

If your hero copy is full of "we," rewrite it from the visitor's point of view. Visitors do not care about you. They care about what you can do for them.

Clarity beats cleverness

Puns and clever wordplay feel fun to write. But they can confuse visitors — especially ones who found you through a search and don't yet know what you do.

Test: if you covered the company name and logo, would a stranger know what the business does from the headline alone?

If the answer is no, prioritize clarity.

Adding proof without overloading

The hero section is not the place for a full testimonials section. One proof element is enough. Options:

• A number: "Trusted by 120+ businesses across the UK"
• A logo bar: three to five recognizable client logos
• A short stat: "Average client sees 40% more enquiries in 90 days"
• A five-star rating: "4.9 stars from 60 Google reviews"

Keep it concise. The full social proof section comes lower down the page — see landing page anatomy for where everything else goes.

The call to action in the hero

Your hero needs one primary CTA button. Common mistakes:

• Two equal buttons with different goals ("Book a call" + "See our work") — pick one as primary
• A weak label ("Learn more," "Find out more") — use a specific action
• No CTA at all — never leave a visitor wondering what to do next

For service businesses, "Book a free consultation" or "Get a quote" can work better than "Contact us" because it tells the visitor what they're getting.

See writing effective calls to action for more on writing the button text.

Full before and after example

Here is an example rewrite applying the full formula.

Common questions

How long should a headline be?

Short enough to take in at a glance. Shorter headlines take less effort to read, and long ones are more likely to get cut off on small phone screens. The subheadline can be longer. Avoid full sentences with lots of clauses in the headline itself.

Should I use my company name in the headline?

Only if your brand name is already well known to the visitor. For most businesses, the headline should describe the outcome you provide, not name the company. The logo handles that.

What if I serve multiple types of clients?

Pick your primary audience and write the hero for them. You can address secondary audiences lower on the page, or on separate landing pages. Trying to speak to everyone at once means speaking to no one well.

How do I know if my hero copy is working?

Watch your bounce rate and how far down the page people scroll. (In Google Analytics 4, the enhanced measurement scroll event only fires the first time someone reaches 90% of the way down a page, so a more detailed picture needs extra tracking.) If visitors are leaving quickly without scrolling, your hero may not be connecting. A/B testing two headlines is a reliable way to find out — see conversion fundamentals for how that works.

Related guides

• Conversion fundamentals
• Landing page anatomy
• Writing a great homepage
• Writing effective calls to action
• Writing service pages that convert
• Headlines that work

Learn more

• Nielsen Norman Group — Headings are pick-up lines: 5 tips for writing headlines that convert
• Nielsen Norman Group — How long do users stay on web pages?